Empty Strings
× code levity epiphanies meditation pain logic all
☰
  • two ints and a String
  • walk into a code review
  • scrutinized to bits
  • if the code you called
  • does not respond, let it go,
  • clear the cache, be still
  • who knew what havoc
  • a carriage return might wreak
  • bad, bad, char thirteen
  • between the try and
  • the catch a coder's visions
  • will shatter or hatch
  • dead-end rabbit holes
  • cause dents in my desk where I
  • bang my head all day
  • never check in code
  • on a Friday afternoon
  • or when you're tired
  • that code snip should be
  • "NOT IN" not "in" otherwise
  • the logic is wrong
  • it's a day of much
  • technical difficulty
  • and little progress
  • in this script you'll hear
  • the sound of one hand typing
  • thanks, AutoHotKey
  • so, obviously
  • it's not something obvious
  • causing the problem
  • just take this import
  • one field at a time, patience
  • at each line of code
  • in order for the
  • code to run, it must first be
  • written, compiled
  • the code will run as
  • it was written; if you want
  • something else, write that
  • the code may be well
  • written, but you get nothing
  • until you call it
  • after death, the bugs
  • you did not fix will become
  • someone else's task
  • gremlins planting bugs
  • help pollinate this software
  • code changes blossom
  • swimming in these code
  • snippets, I'm led to the place
  • where nothing follows
  • the open parens,
  • number nine's alter ego,
  • begs for zero's close
  • that logic still haunts
  • all developers who dared
  • to comprehend it
  • in vb there is
  • no null ~ there's just nothing and
  • also not nothing
  • much sighing happens
  • while waiting for localhost
  • doldrums of the void
  • I sit and think and
  • type until the pain is extreme:
  • this is binge coding.
  • many suffer from
  • solitude anxiety ~
  • programmers, rarely
  • this is what spills out
  • when minds get locked in meetings
  • and crack wide open
  • if it isn't an
  • intermittent null pointer,
  • coder, be at peace
  • progress is moving
  • to the next error message;
  • one line at a time
  • this machine virus
  • haunts us like covid-19
  • will this ever end?
  • confusion on the
  • part of developers is
  • not to be ignored
  • weekend push? hot fix?
  • stored procedures? binaries?
  • these builds fog the mind
  • I was looking for
  • my cursor. This delayed my
  • meeting un-muting.
  • concatenate and
  • minify and obfuscate
  • serve it up like that
  • constants may never
  • change but change is a constant
  • in the world of code
  • I have spent my days
  • in ecstatic coding haze
  • transcending logic
  • despite how it seemed
  • my mind was simply misplaced
  • not lost completely
  • find yourself losing
  • yourself until laughter is
  • all that's left of you
  • forgetting that I
  • am able to remember -
  • that thought vanishes
  • it shows poor judgment
  • to judge yourself so harshly
  • mellow out a bit
  • take seriously
  • your moral duty to be
  • not so serious
  • be at peace knowing
  • you will never be at peace
  • this is life - just laugh
  • don't let distraction
  • distract you from focusing
  • on your distractions
  • Dear Captain Ahab,
  • sometimes white whales just happen
  • learn to live with it
  • I would rather be
  • not thinking I'd rather be
  • thinking something else.
  • you are mistaken
  • it's not that I am bitter;
  • I'm just well seasoned
  • I'm American
  • what gadget can I purchase
  • to solve my problems?
  • see hedonistic
  • habituation at play -
  • I still want more toys
  • composing verses
  • about the need for silence
  • laughing at myself
  • I will be screaming,
  • "Rosenhan seventy three!"
  • from my strait jacket
  • my only problem
  • is that I think I have a
  • problem when I don't
  • I'm feeling profound
  • success habituation.
  • There's still more to do.
  • finding nothing is
  • nothing like what it's like to
  • not find anything
  • grab the bull by the
  • horns, and sing to him softly
  • until you both weep
  • not every port will
  • see you through the storm and be
  • safe when the storm ends
  • even the concept
  • of mental models is just
  • a mental model
  • the stories we tell
  • to ourselves about our lives
  • are not always true
  • it is not about
  • making great art; it's about
  • art making life great
  • something will kill you
  • in the end - don't let that thought
  • kill you before then
  • what's strange is that it's
  • not strange because it is strange
  • and we don't notice
  • it has always been
  • like this, in that it's never
  • been like this before
  • may your happiness
  • not depend on life always
  • being just pleasant
  • equanimity
  • nothing harshes this mellow
  • learn to be at peace
  • when thoughts emerge, feel
  • the temptation to be moved
  • observe them unmoved
  • the goal is to have
  • no more goals; the trick is to
  • use no tricks at all
  • can I sit with this
  • desire to narrate life
  • and not act on it?
  • any clinging to
  • the ephemeral ends with
  • empty arms grasping
  • the experience
  • of experience is all
  • I experience
  • if what you seek is
  • an end to all seeking then
  • you are truly lost
  • until I noticed
  • I didn't even notice
  • I didn't notice
  • this is the story
  • of refraining from stories
  • hear the silence now
  • when silence fails, try:
  • brevity, simplicity,
  • and parsimony
  • when clarity feels
  • so clear that I'm transparent
  • simplicity reigns
  • perceptions of the
  • outside world, perceptions of
  • thought, simply arise
  • when locality
  • as a thought form disappears
  • reality floats
  • this is pure torment:
  • ongoing mental chatter
  • drowning out the void
  • this is paradise:
  • the quiet of my own mind
  • simply observing
  • a life well lived is
  • not predicated on the
  • absence of all pain
  • heed the hero's call:
  • rip bravado's thin veneer,
  • weep with tenderness
  • fear is an illusion
  • the future remains unknown
  • plan, but abide now
  • the paradox of
  • placebos: strong delusions
  • become what is real
  • suffering and pain
  • are never commensurate
  • when at peace with truth
  • endless recursion
  • tangles the mind in itself
  • laugh about the void
  • what freezes mellow?
  • ontological fantods
  • howl at me like ice
  • fear is the flavor
  • of some anticipated
  • distant suffering
  • motion causes pain
  • agony in every step
  • migraines force stillness
  • vampire migraine
  • ghostly pale, light is fatal
  • stay still in darkness
  • all arguments are
  • tautological except
  • for those which are not
  • beware your own mind
  • if you care about the truth
  • don't fall for its lies
  • prefrontal cortex
  • is willing, however the
  • amygdala's weak
  • fallacy phantoms
  • distorting all we perceive
  • haunt us with strangeness
  • that we do not know
  • is the hardest thing to see
  • belief feels so safe
  • sample size of one
  • zero degrees of freedom
  • what will be will be
  • in this average life
  • where the mean can be so mean
  • take refuge in tails
  • ideology
  • often obscures perception
  • hiding what is true
  • moral fortitude
  • keeps belief in proportion
  • to the evidence
  • skeptical ethics
  • celebrates uncertainty
  • which softens all hearts